Normally, peoples had kind of dreamy and beautiful imagination for long
“Rapunzel
was waiting the prince on top of tower since her young age, after the rescues
she live happily forever? No one know the story after that. Did they really
live happy after all?? Two person with distint back ground , not spending too
much of time understand each other ???”
Story
always tell the beautiful part ,hide the ugly side of it.
Every long distance relationship had their own stories behind.
**********************************************
When
two people who live in distant places meet and want to see more of each other,
the seeds of a long-distance romantic relationship are sown.
Once
upon a time, I did believe distance wasn’t a big deal if we love each other. 4000
miles of distance but yet we close in heart. My naive really brought my
relationship for more than 4 years.
-But ,I m not happy-
My
ex boyfriend and me started as long distance relationship. Australia and Malaysia,
thousands miles away. .Both of us make a pinky promise between that we wait for
each other.
3
years passed, he finished study and returned to Malaysia. Fate play the game. I
m furthering my bachelor far to Indonesia. Again , close enough but we again
missed each other.
We
met less than twice in a year. Every times of separate was so hard for us.
Tears on cheek, I hugged him badly in airport. We shared most of the precious
moments in phone, anniversary, valentines, and birthday.
1
, 2, 3 ,4 years… I kind of jealous with those couple can actually spend time
together on weekend, hold hand for a movie, celebrating birthday for each
other, receive flower on valentine, a simple dinner together, simple little
things actually I’m craving for. At least a shoulder for me laid on when I was down.
The
fate always cruel, distance never makes it come true.
I
did belief we could made through all of this sh*t. When the time grew old, love
faded, arguments and fights got more, silence became the only way for us to escape
from it. Silence was the murderer and destroyer, big hole that came between of us
and swallowing us without realize. The love we used to addict now turned rotten. He choose to ignore, I choose to cry alone
in dark.
Finally
I understand, the biggest challenge wasn’t the distance but the trust between
of us. No one to blame here, both of us did mistakes. The faults on me for
being too sensitive and complicated, I loss my faith on him. His faults is being silence in relationship,
instead of explain he left me which bunch of questions.
I
realized the problems , still the past memories was too beautiful for me to
gave up this relationship. I m holding it tight without hesitate. Love is blind,
loss the rationality thinking that I used to be.
However,
I ever imagined him in my future , black suits on our wedding day, having kids,
get old in wheelchair. This was hurting me deep. Even its hard, I understand “Gave
up aint something bad, it end the suffer for both” I did the biggest decision
in my life.
“Lets break up ”
my
voice was shivering in the phone. I understood this was the best solution for
both.
“Only
one word, deny it .And I will stay ”whispering
in my heart.
Thousands
of unwilling but he never said it. He was silence. # breakup on phone wasn’t something for me to
proud of.
“It’s a peaceful breakup , I felt a big relieve
and calm. I m okay ”
The
biggest lie, bullsh*t in my life. I know I m not okay with it, but life still
need to carry on. Sobbing was useless.
That was another scratched pages of mine.
Time,
can heal the wound, its real . It took me 1 years ++ .
Better
person awaiting us in future. The day of our weeding, you won’t be my groom and
I’m not your bride. But a big smile and a handful of sincere wishes attached
from each other. That’s the only things I can do for you.
We
had been through a lot by each other side.
We
still friend, a very close and special friend for each other.
*************************
4 Challenges for long distance relationship
# Less accompany , less
communication, more fight
Couple
can fight due to small matter/ misunderstanding. The best solution for a
problem is face to face communication. Some harsh words might not easy to out
from the mouth when he/ she was in front of u. The words in text never express
the real emotional of us. People tend to misinterpret the meaning of words /
sentence in different tones.
# Temptation, flirt
In
this world, there are one 2 genders(No included the transgender), almost 50 %
of population opposite sex of us. Flirting is bad , especially when flirting with them status-ed in relationship.
Sad to say, the society nowadays don’t
seems to obey this rule. The worst , he/she dint admitted to be in relationship
, instead reply for the flirt from opposite sex. Temptation was huge challenge,
a guy / girl that can actually withstand those challenge make a relationship
stronger.
# Loneliness
Loneliness
is the big obvious issue normally occurred, when come to long distance. When a
couple used to having each other in routine, stick like chewy gum all the
time. He/ She become one of the importance elements in life, like oxygen. A
close relation switch to long distance normally need time and really strong
heart to maintain. A short term of separation might good, but long term always
not end up happily.
#Insecure
Insecurity
, normally used when he/she felt uncomfortable, and lacking confidence either in herself/ himself
or the other partner.
*********************************
Advice for the long distance
# Trust *
# Be Confident
# Loyal
# Behave
# Tolerance
Tolerance can be "board ", tolerance with families, time zone, belief, religion, culture, ect. A couple with 12 hours time zone different , can only talk if one of them scarifying her/his sleeping time.Tolerance bring no harm.
# Adapt
Not everything change or flow in the way we want. Flexible adaptation bring one relationship goes far
***************************
Tips
#Keep a distance between other opposite sex, avoid temptation/ flirt
#Talk
more, share everything in routine.
So he/she felt like she/he are always by
your side even not, get rid of insecurity of them.
#Communication
makes everything better.
Silence only worsening the misunderstand.
#
Say at least a word everyday.
Make it as habit, perhaps good morning / good
night. The habits actually make him/her felt importance, someone awaiting them
in the other corner of world. This surprisingly make him/her pleasant and gained more trust on
you.
#
Skype and video call
Really another beautiful creation to rescue long
distance couple, cure their miss to each other.
#
Trust and no doubt to your love one.
In the same time, you need to behave
yourself too.
#
Away from the flirt possible event.
Instead of alcohol /party all night long,
spent time with your girlfriend/ boyfriend on Skype/ call/ message better.
#
Save money , buy ticket to find her/him
#
Never forgot the Valentine celebration , anniversary celebration, birthday celebration.
Long distance
wasn’t an excuse to not celebrate it, instead you can make it more special for
only both.
# Holiday trip with your loved one
I
hope this might help lot of long distance couples over there.
I
pray the happy ending for all.
-Last advice, a relationship is about both ,one side effort never work-
A
short distance relationship switch to long distance relationship, all those hardships and obstacles are awaiting , stay strong
guys !!!!
In
verse vice, if you manage to go through the long distance relationship , I guess
nothing can hold you back.
