Saturday, 23 September 2017

Long distance relationship

Long distance relationship, different states, different area, different places , cross country love? Hundreds miles, thousands miles, millions miles? How long should the distance to be categories in long distance relationship. 
Normally, peoples had kind of dreamy and beautiful imagination for long Romantic distance relationship.

“Rapunzel was waiting the prince on top of tower since her young age, after the rescues she live happily forever? No one know the story after that. Did they really live happy after all?? Two person with distint back ground , not spending too much of time understand each other ???”
Story always tell the beautiful part ,hide the ugly side of it.

Every long distance relationship had their own stories behind.

When two people who live in distant places meet and want to see more of each other, the seeds of a long-distance romantic relationship are sown.

Once upon a time, I did believe distance wasn’t a big deal if we love each other. 4000 miles of distance but yet we close in heart. My naive really brought my relationship for more than 4 years.

-But ,I m not happy-

My ex boyfriend and me started as long distance relationship. Australia and Malaysia, thousands miles away. .Both of us make a pinky promise between that we wait for each other.
3 years passed, he finished study and returned to Malaysia. Fate play the game. I m furthering my bachelor far to Indonesia. Again , close enough but we again missed each other.

We met less than twice in a year. Every times of separate was so hard for us. Tears on cheek, I hugged him badly in airport. We shared most of the precious moments in phone, anniversary, valentines, and birthday.
1 , 2, 3 ,4 years… I kind of jealous with those couple can actually spend time together on weekend, hold hand for a movie, celebrating birthday for each other, receive flower on valentine, a simple dinner together, simple little things actually I’m craving for. At least a shoulder for me laid on when I was down.

The fate always cruel, distance never makes it come true.

I did belief we could made through all of this sh*t. When the time grew old, love faded, arguments and fights got more, silence became the only way for us to escape from it. Silence was the murderer and destroyer, big hole that came between of us and swallowing us without realize. The love we used to addict now turned rotten. He choose to ignore, I choose to cry alone in dark.

Finally I understand, the biggest challenge wasn’t the distance but the trust between of us. No one to blame here, both of us did mistakes. The faults on me for being too sensitive and complicated, I loss my faith on him.  His faults is being silence in relationship, instead of explain he left me which bunch of questions.

I realized the problems , still the past memories was too beautiful for me to gave up this relationship. I m holding it tight without hesitate. Love is blind, loss the rationality thinking that I used to be.
However, I ever imagined him in my future , black suits on our wedding day, having kids, get old in wheelchair. This was hurting me deep. Even its hard, I understand “Gave up aint something bad, it end the suffer for both” I did the biggest decision in my life.

“Lets break up ”                                                       
my voice was shivering in the phone. I understood this was the best solution for both.
 “Only one word, deny it .And I will stay whispering in my heart.

Thousands of unwilling but he never said it. He was silence.  # breakup on phone wasn’t something for me to proud of.
“It’s a peaceful breakup , I felt a big relieve and calm. I m okay  
The biggest lie, bullsh*t in my life. I know I m not okay with it, but life still need to carry on. Sobbing was useless.

That was another scratched pages of mine.
Time, can heal the wound, its real . It took me 1 years ++ .

Better person awaiting us in future. The day of our weeding, you won’t be my groom and I’m not your bride. But a big smile and a handful of sincere wishes attached from each other. That’s the only things I can do for you.

We had been through a lot by each other side.
We still friend, a very close and special friend for each other.

4 Challenges for long distance relationship

# Less accompany , less communication, more fight  
Couple can fight due to small matter/ misunderstanding. The best solution for a problem is face to face communication. Some harsh words might not easy to out from the mouth when he/ she was in front of u. The words in text never express the real emotional of us. People tend to misinterpret the meaning of words / sentence in different tones.

# Temptation, flirt
In this world, there are one 2 genders(No included the transgender), almost 50 % of population opposite sex of us. Flirting is bad , especially  when flirting with them status-ed in relationship. Sad to say, the society nowadays  don’t seems to obey this rule. The worst , he/she dint admitted to be in relationship , instead reply for the flirt from opposite sex. Temptation was huge challenge, a guy / girl that can actually withstand those challenge make a relationship stronger.

# Loneliness
Loneliness is the big obvious issue normally occurred, when come to long distance. When a couple used to having each other in routine, stick like chewy gum all the time. He/ She become one of the importance elements in life, like oxygen. A close relation switch to long distance normally need time and really strong heart to maintain. A short term of separation might good, but long term always not end up happily.

Insecurity , normally used when he/she felt uncomfortable, and  lacking confidence either in herself/ himself or the other partner.

Advice for the long distance
# Trust *
# Be Confident
# Loyal
# Behave
# Tolerance
Tolerance can be "board ", tolerance with families, time zone, belief, religion, culture, ect. A couple with 12 hours time zone different , can only talk if one of them scarifying her/his sleeping time.Tolerance bring no harm.
# Adapt
Not everything change or flow in the way we want. Flexible adaptation bring one relationship goes far


#Keep a distance between other opposite sex, avoid temptation/ flirt

#Talk more, share everything in routine. 
So he/she felt like she/he are always by your side even not, get rid of insecurity of them.

#Communication makes everything better. 
Silence only worsening the misunderstand.

# Say at least a word everyday.
 Make it as habit, perhaps good morning / good night. The habits actually make him/her felt importance, someone awaiting them in the other corner of world. This surprisingly  make him/her pleasant and gained more trust on you.

# Skype and video call
Really another beautiful creation to rescue long distance couple, cure their miss to each other.

# Trust and no doubt to your love one.
 In the same time, you need to behave yourself too.

# Away from the flirt possible event.
 Instead of alcohol /party all night long, spent time with your girlfriend/ boyfriend on Skype/ call/ message  better.

# Save money , buy ticket to find her/him

# Never forgot the Valentine celebration , anniversary celebration, birthday celebration. 
Long distance wasn’t an excuse to not celebrate it, instead you can make it more special for only both.

# Holiday trip with your loved one

I hope this might help lot of long distance couples over there.
I pray the happy ending for all. 

-Last advice, a relationship is about both ,one side effort never work-

A short distance relationship switch to long distance relationship, all those hardships  and obstacles are awaiting , stay strong guys !!!!
In verse vice, if you manage to go through the long distance relationship , I guess nothing can hold you back.